So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wear drunk well.
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