I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
