What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
