2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My vagina is officially offended.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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