3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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