Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize