there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
