hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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