this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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