what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
