there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
