Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
