I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
