used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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