Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
