I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
