Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
