Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
