I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
