i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize