wakey wakey hands off snakey
barbara walters just said penis...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
