He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
