This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
