im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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