quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize