That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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