so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
