Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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