Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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