Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
