so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
