I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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