Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
