thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
