drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
