i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
did i walk over a car last night?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
we're so committed to being not committed
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