Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
