im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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