sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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