remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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