can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
