I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
