HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize