i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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