I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
