I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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