Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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