Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
