its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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