i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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