Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
