and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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