I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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