talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
