the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
