A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
