Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can't turn off my feet"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
