I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Drake has all the answers
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
