so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
