One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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