And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
