Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
