A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
